Therapy101 / Relationships
Questions to ask
Questions that can help when thinking about joint work with a practitioner.
Finding an approach and checking training
Working with a couple or family requires different skills from working with an individual one-to-one. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy advises people considering couples counselling to look for a practitioner who has specific training and experience in working with couples. Practitioners draw on different traditions, and therapy does not have a single expected outcome for every relationship.
Questions you might ask before starting
What specific training and experience do you have in couple or family therapy?
Who will take part in sessions, and how are decisions about participation made?
How will confidentiality work if we have both joint and individual meetings, or if one of us contacts you between sessions?
How do you work when partners or family members come with different hopes or goals?
What are the session fees, cancellation terms, and typical arrangements for reviewing progress?
A constructed example
Constructed for learning. Not a real case.
Before booking a first appointment, a couple emails a practitioner to ask whether they have completed specialist couple training and how they handle individual emails between sessions. The practitioner replies with details of their systemic couple training, explains that they ask partners to copy each other on administrative emails, and outlines how their initial consultation works.
Checking registration and credentials in the UK and US
In the UK, the Professional Standards Authority oversees Accredited Registers of counsellors and psychotherapists (such as those held by the BACP, UKCP and the Association for Family and Systemic Psychotherapy). In the US, Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFTs), psychologists, clinical social workers and professional counsellors are licensed at state level, and the American Psychological Association’s Ethics Code (Standard 10.02) sets out requirements for clarifying roles at the start of couple or family work.
Sources and inspection notes
Supports: UK guide to couples counselling. Says to look for a therapist with couples experience and training, and to agree in advance what happens if the therapist meets either partner individually, including whether anything shared individually stays confidential.
Professional Standards Authority. Our work with Accredited Registers.
Supports: Explains the role of Accredited Registers for health and care occupations not regulated by statute in the UK.
Supports: Standard 10.02 (Therapy Involving Couples or Families) on clarifying at the outset who the clients are and the relationship the practitioner will have with each person.